Wedding RSVP wording: examples for every situation

Whatever the tone, the job of an RSVP card or form is the same: find out who is coming, to what, and anything the kitchen or venue needs to know. Before you polish a single phrase, decide what you actually need to ask.

• A reply-by date. Always a specific date, never “soon”. Our guide to setting your RSVP deadline covers how to choose it.
• Names. Who is replying, and who else in the invitation is coming.
• Accept or decline. Ideally for each guest, not just the household.
• Which events, if you are hosting more than one.
• Meal choice and dietary needs, if your caterer needs them in advance.
• Anything practical: access needs, parking, a song request if you want the fun.

Resist asking for things you will not use. Every extra question is another reason for a guest to put the card down and forget about it.

Formal wording suits a traditional invitation, a black-tie evening or a family who will notice if the conventions are missing. It is written in the third person and uses full names and dates.

The favour of a reply is requested by Saturday, the fourteenth of March

M ______________________________

accepts with pleasure

declines with regret

The “M” line is a traditional flourish: the guest completes it as Mr, Mrs, Ms or Mx and writes their name. If you would rather not rely on guests knowing that, give them a plain “Name(s)” line instead. A slightly softer formal version:

Kindly reply by the fourteenth of March

Name(s) ______________________________

Joyfully accept ______ Regretfully decline ______

Number attending ______

“Kindly reply” and “the favour of a reply is requested” are interchangeable. “RSVP” itself comes from the French répondez s’il vous plaît, so “Please RSVP” is technically doubled up, though almost nobody minds.

If your invitation is warm and conversational, your RSVP card should sound the same. Write it the way you would say it.

Let us know by 14 March

Name(s) ______________________________

Wouldn’t miss it ______ Will celebrate from afar ______

Something lighter, for couples who like a joke:

Can you make it? Tell us by 14 March.

Yes, save me a seat and a slice of cake ______

Sadly no, but I’ll raise a glass ______

The song that will get me on the dance floor: ______

Keep humour on the “yes” and “no” options gentle. A decline line that sounds like a punchline can sting someone who genuinely cannot travel, or who is dealing with something you do not know about.

The clearest signal is always the name on the invitation itself: whoever is named is invited. RSVP wording can back that up without sounding stern.

When a guest has a plus-one:

We’d love you to bring a guest. Please tell us their name so we can make a place card for them.

Guest’s name ______________________________

When seats are limited:

We have reserved ___ seat(s) in your honour.

Number attending ___ of ___

For a child-free wedding, say it once, kindly, on the invitation or the RSVP card, and again on your website:

We love your little ones, but our celebration will be adults only. We hope this gives you a night off to enjoy with us.

If you are inviting some children (your nieces and nephews, say, but not everyone’s), name them on the relevant invitations and let the wording on everyone else’s do the rest. Whatever line you draw, apply it the same way to every family, and expect a few questions either way.

Many weddings are really several events: a ceremony and a reception, a tea ceremony in the morning and a dinner at night, a welcome drink the evening before. If not everyone is invited to everything, list only the events each guest is invited to, and ask for a reply to each.

Please reply by 14 March

Ceremony, 3pm, St Mary’s: Attending ___ Not attending ___

Dinner and dancing, 6pm, The Boathouse: Attending ___ Not attending ___

For an evening-only invitation, make the start time clear in the invitation rather than explaining that the day began earlier:

Please join us for the evening celebration from 7pm. Kindly reply by 14 March.

Asking per event, rather than one yes for the whole day, saves you guessing later. Guests often come to the dinner but skip the ceremony, or the other way round.

Make declining easy and guilt-free. A clear “no” by the deadline is far more useful to you than silence. If guests reply by message rather than a card, a short template helps them:

Thank you so much for the invitation. Sadly we can’t be there on the day, but we’ll be thinking of you both and can’t wait to see the photos.

For a digital or online RSVP, the wording moves onto the invitation or the message that carries the link. Keep it short and put the deadline next to the action:

We’re getting married! Everything you need is on our wedding website, and you can reply for your whole household there. Please let us know by 14 March.

If you are sending links over WhatsApp or text, add a line so nobody worries it is spam, such as “This link is just for your household.” Our Singapore guide to WhatsApp wedding invitations has more message templates.

• Pre-fill what you can. Printing or writing the guest’s names on the card stops uninvited extras appearing.
• Number the cards discreetly. A small number on the back matches each card to your list when a guest forgets to write their name. It happens more than you would think.
• Stamp the return envelope if you are posting cards. It is the traditional courtesy and removes one more excuse.
• Give the meal options in plain words. “Beef, fish or vegetarian” beats menu prose on a small card.
• Say how to change a reply. Plans shift; tell guests who to contact.

If you would rather skip cards altogether, Love at First (Site) gives each household its own link to a free wedding website where every guest replies for each event you have invited them to, with meal choices, dietary needs and plus-one names collected in the same form. Guests can change their answer until the date you close replies.